Keeping with my promise to blog each day this week, I will continue to type through the pain. The horrible chest pain!

Okay, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. Just a bit.

I stayed late today to try and get some boxes packed up, and while lifting a particularly heavy box, I strained some muscles. In my chest. I had a moment of fear, thinking, this is a new chest pain I've never had before, I hope it's not serious, before realizing that my heart was beating just fine and I could also breathe. I've heard that having a heart-attack makes you feel as though an elephant is sitting on your chest, and this didn't feel like an elephant. More like a large dog. Or maybe a goat. Possibly something as large as a pygmy hippopotamus (interesting fact on that website under the subtitle Special Adaptations; Skin Secretions: The pygmy hippo does not swear [sic]. I think they mean to say that it does not sweat. But I could be wrong. Maybe it has a heightened sense of morality).

The point is - it fucking hurt. I went to the closest urgent care to make absolutely sure I hadn't seriously injured myself. They were really excited to see me, as they had closed just 5 minutes before I arrived. And I got to fill out some really fun patient information forms as it was my first time there. I got all of 1 minute with the actual doctor, who diagnosed me with a chest muscle strain from five feet away by never touching any part of me. He said the first couple of days will be painful, but I should expect about an 80% reduction in pain after that time. If I'm not feeling better after this weekend, I have to go in for X-rays. Whoopie.

What really sucks is that my job lately can be broken down into two important areas: paperwork and moving heavy boxes. I have a lot of heavy boxes to move, and no chest muscles to do it with. I wish I had an assistant. Then I could delegate my responsibility to him/her. Maybe they can just appoint me a valet, or something. I'm not very good at delegating, but I'm sure with practice I could get much better.

I also saw a new homeless man today on that same corner. Nothing really remarkable about him, but his sign sign now said: WAS LIVING THE GOOD LIFE UNTIL A DRUNK DRIVER HIT ME. NOW, BACK AND LEGS ARE FUCKED UP. ANYTHING WILL HELP. GOD BLESS.

God bless you sir. And your fucked up back and legs.

Posted by: Ensie at 09:29 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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