From special guest author L.!

A girl walks up to to me looking for some help:

Her: "Do you have this book?" Points to a slip of paper in her hand upon which is written "Complete Idiot's Guide to Atheism" (or something like it, I don't remember exactly).

I look it up. It is out of stock, so I offer to order it.

"I need it by the end of next week. It's a Christmas gift."

At that point, my brain nearly exploded.

Thanks L. We do love our stupid customers.

Posted by: Ensie at 08:37 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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If there is one thing I've heard a thousand times at the registers it is the following statement:

"No price? Well, that must mean it's free!"
This is instantly how I know you are a total asshole and I will try to get through our remaining shared 30 seconds without slapping you. Please, try and restrain yourself, it's not funny anymore. It really never was.

The runner-up to the above statement is:

"No, I don't need a bag. Save a plastic tree!"

I admit, I probably laughed at this the first time or two I heard this one. I may have even said it once or twice myself.

But yesterday I head something genuinely funny while ringing up a customer. An grandfatherly African-American man approached the counter and handed me his book. He then told me, "I heard that it was dark and handsome discount day so I hurried right down." He was so charming I couldn't help but laugh. I replied, "You just missed it actually. It was yesterday, but you would definately have qualified." We both laughed.

Points for you, Dark and Handsome.

Posted by: Ensie at 06:33 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Customer on Phone: Do you know who Michael Crichton is?

Kevin: Yes.

Customer: Do you have his Christmas CD?

Kevin: CD? Ah, he has a new book out. He's an author.

Customer: Um, no--he isn't--he's a singer? Phantom of the Opera. Michael Crichton.

Kevin: Do you mean Michael Crawford?

Customer: No--Michael Crichton.

Kevin: Then, no. We don't have his Christmas CD.

Kevin wins the stupidest customer award today!

Posted by: Ensie at 06:22 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 88 words, total size 1 kb.