August 30, 2004

Office Space...ummmm...yeahhhh...


Samir


What Office Space character are you?
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New to me!

Went out searchin' to link it up this evening and came across the following:

ManhattanDan - " The Economist ran a fun historical article about just how republican New York has been through the ages. They agree with me, so they must be geniuses."


Are You Like Me?
- " Yes, I do suffer from drug induced dreams, yet I don't do drugs."

Enjoy!

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The people at Kotex need to be slapped

I know I have a weird obsession with hygeine products. I don't deny it. I've posted about both deoderant and tampons. But now, I bring before you a new level of weirdness:

Scented menstrual pads (apparently, you can't link directly to this product, so once you get there, you need to click on "Pantiliners," then "Incredibly Thin Everyday Liners" to get there).

And not just any scents. Kotex bring us protection in three completely odd flavors; Aloe, Lavender, and Chamomile. Am I the only one who thinks this is totally disgusting?

Did I not make myself clear with an earlier letter to Tampax about this sort of thing?

Seriously, people. What is wrong with you? I think they need to fire the "new products" departments at these companies. Really, is there that much new technology to be had in the period-protection department? Women have been doing it for years without any sort of assistance so far. I think we can continue on without our girlie parts smelling like a strong cup of tea.

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Six Months

Today is my six month blogoversary. I've survived the infant stages and am moving rapidly toward toddler-hood.

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August 28, 2004

The missing arm of Def Leppard's drummer is rolling over in it's small grave

Watch this, then listen to the sobbing of Def Leppard fans everywhere. I urge you to sit through the whole thing, if possible.

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Garden State Soundtrack--It's Alive!

L. informed me yesterday that she was finally able to get a copy of the Garden State soundtrack from the distributor. Finally! I should have it in just a few days.

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August 27, 2004

Oh...my...God...

Further proof that people are dumb.

Found via Desert Raspberry.

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August 25, 2004

Dear Right-Wing Conspiracy Freaks,

I realize that dividing your time between Rush Limbaugh and Bill OÂ’Reilly doesnÂ’t leave you much time to focus on facts, but as a bookstore employee, please allow me to enlighten you. Currently, there are plenty of rumors that bookstores around the nation are conspiring to keep Unfit for Command off shelves and out of customersÂ’ hands. This is truly one of the stupidest things I have ever heard.

Bookstores are first and foremost businesses, especially the big-box bookstores. Your average bookstore employee may not agree with your particular political views, but the company views making money as the top priority. Unfit for Command is the number one bestseller in the country, and every bookstore wishes they could keep enough stock on hand to sell to everyone who wanted one.

The publisher has recently stated that they are the reason that the book is not on bookstore shelves:

Regnery spokeswoman Kelley Keeler said Tuesday that the company, a longtime publisher of conservative authors such as William F. Buckley Jr. and Pat Buchanan, can't keep up with the "huge" demand, in part because the book's September publication date was moved up as interest in the book grew.

"We're trying to get more copies out as fast as we can," spokeswoman Keeler said.

Next time you all get together to come up with a book, please MAKE THE PRINT RUN LARGER. Print ten million. Please. Let people see what a bunch of story changing, Republican connected folks you are. I encourage you.

My real hope is that this will keep asshats* like yourselves from yelling at myself or my fellow booksellers every time we have to explain that we have sold out of the book. You don't want to hear that we will gladly order the book for you when available again or reserve you a copy when we get more in stock. As soon as, “No, we can…” is out of my mouth I’m being screamed and stomped at with shouts of “Liberal bias!” and “I’ll never shop here again!”

IÂ’m tired of hearing from you. Please go away. ItÂ’s not a conspiracy. Just chill the fuck out. I really want the Garden State soundtrack but they didnÂ’t print enough of that either. So IÂ’m waiting, too.

Thanks,

Ensie

*Thanks to Your Moosey Fate for reminding what a fun word "asshat" is. Asshat! Hahahaha.

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August 24, 2004

Brushes with Randomness -- Sports Edition!

A little over a week ago, Richard at Pearly Gates decided to make fun of my sport of choice, Dressage. To the untrained eye, I suppose it can look like competative horse walking. However, it is actually closer to ballet on horseback.

Seriously.

The horse and rider move in together in perfect balance, performing varying levels of specified maneuvers within a rectangular ring. My Dad compares watching Dressage to watching grass grow. "It takes a sophisticated eye!" I've been known to reply. Dressage is performed as part of Three Day Eventing and Dressage-only Olympic competition.


dressage1.gif


Well, now the laugh is on him. His favorite Anaheim Angel, Troy Glaus, is married to a woman named Ann, who I grew up riding with; riding dressage with, to be exact. Until recently, she still taught my sister on the weekends.

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August 23, 2004

Easily Amused

Inspired by Random Pensees' post of an amusing T-shirt he saw recently, I present the following:

On a T-shirt of a co-worker:
-Can't sleep, clowns will eat me...

On bumperstickers:
-I thought I wanted a career, but it turns out I really just wanted paychecks.
-Help wanted: telepath. You know where to apply.
-I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
-I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up
-Suburbia: Where they cut down the trees and name the streets after them
-There are two kinds of pedestrians...the quick and the dead.


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August 22, 2004

Why are all the quizzes I take wrong?





Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You?
quiz.

Thanks Frinklin.

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August 21, 2004

Famouser

I've been feeling rather famous lately. In the span of just a few days, I ended up with several new links to Both Hands from Mediocre Fred (who will be moving to Munuvania soon, I believe), All Things Jen(nifer), and Serial Blogonomy. I don't say this because I'm bragging (Ok, a little) but more because I'm insecure and every new link is someone saying, "I like you. Lets be blog friends!"

Maybe they're not saying anything remotely that goofy, but in my head, that's what it sounds like. I don't want to a link whore, but (and other bloggers will support me on this, I'm sure) you really do feel good when someone likes you enough to link to you. Plus, I remember the lean times when Frinklin was the only person who linked to me.

Starting a blog is easy. Staying with a blog for any length of time is difficult. You have to convince yourself that what you have to say is interesting enought that people will seek it out to read it. Sometimes by accident, but hopefully, eventually, someone will look for your site on purpose and possibly (if you're really lucky) on a consistent basis. Thinking about the number of websites and blogs on the internet makes my brain hurt, like thinking about infinity.

So, I've decided to link it up every so often to mostly newer (or just new to me) blogs. You can call it a "new blog showcase" if you like. I prefer to think of it as visiting new neighbors with a pie. Not that I would ever actually do that in my neighborhood.

I searched and searched the Infinite Microbe Universe at Truth Laid Bear's Ecosystem and came up with the following:

The Utility Muffin Research Kitchen--"Shitting Hell! I MUST KNIT CAKES AND BISCUITS! It is surely what I was BORN to do!"

Debbie Does Drivel--"Check your e-mail, then one second later, check it again, because the e-mail could have come in that space between one second before and one second later?"

The Armchair Critic--"I don't know anyone who sincerely enjoys the act of sweating profusely through a t-shirt for an hour and then smelling like dead grass to boot. "

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August 20, 2004

Mediocre Fred Agrees with me!

Thanks Fred! Glad to see someone has some taste buds around here that aren't corrupted by the Olive Garden.

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Garden State

A full price movie review! That's how good this movie is. How good is it?

So good I cried. Twice. Since I cry at pretty much everything, this isn't a big surprise to those who know me.

So good I laughed many times. And not at stupid things, but at smart dialog and good writing.

So good I immediately drove to Best Buy and attempted to purchase the soundtrack. They were out. I then proceeded to drive my husband crazy by asking him to visit every store he passed on his way home that sold any type of music. He went to 5 stores and came home empty handed. I called three more stores and also struck out. I finally downloaded the iTunes iMix (The "i" ibefore ieverything istops ibeing icute iand igets ireally iold iafter iabout ithree iminutes ion iTunes) of the Garden State Soundtrack, as the real soundtrack wasn't available. A couple of the artists aren't even available on iTunes, so I'm still gonna need to order it somewhere. Dammit. I guess I should be pleased that so many others are also loving the soundtrack, but it makes life more difficult for me.

So good I called Frinklin upon leaving the theater and informed him that I would be leaving him for Zach Braff. I feel a little guilty about this, as Frinklin was the one who originally got me to start watching Scrubs. It's always worse when the husband introduces his wife to the other man.

I'll be going back to visit my boyfriend on the big screen this weekend. And Natalie Portman, who I also love.

Confidential to Zach Braff (who I'm SO sure will be reading this)--Thank you for giving Natalie Portman's character epilepsy. My sister has epilepsy, and for whatever reason, it makes me happy to see others with epilepsy portrayed as normal human beings without seizures, as they are most of the time.

PS--Zach Braff's Garden State Blog will be taking up permanent residence in my blogroll, too. Because I love him.

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August 19, 2004

Macaroni Grill is better

I'm not one of those people who eats at a lot of fancy-schmancy, high-falouten (just how does one spell "falouten"?) restaurants. I'm a poor person. I can't afford to blow several day's worth of income on one meal (however, I do accept gifts and charity for such restaurants). We at the Frinklin-Ensie household are chain restaurant eaters, and proud of it.

I enjoy a good Denny's breakfast, although Cocos is better. I'm a fan of Pat and Oscars (thank you God, for sending your breadsticks down from Heaven). I love a good Big Mac, Whopper, or Chipotle taco. Long live the chain restaurant.

However, I HATE the Olive Garden. Hate. And I love you Dawn, but you are SO wrong on the Olive Garden thing. Their food is just plain bad. Why would you EVER need to eat at the Olive Garden when there is the garden of eden that is Romanos Macaroni Grill? I literally walked through a snowstorm for 1/2 mile (and back!) to get to the Macaroni Grill that was several icy blocks from my Ann Arbor, Michigan hotel room this past March. And I'm from San Diego. I don't do snow. Ever.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the Olive Gardens are better back East, but I doubt it.

Oh--and Applebee's? You can suck it. I hate you too.

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Hell is good

Apparently, believing in Hell makes us better people, and better off. So says as a study from the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis.

This really does make sense. Although it doesn't make a great case for the inherent nature of mankind, what with the apprent threat of eternal damnation hanging over us to keep us on the straight and narrow.

In sort-of related news; Romanian police are sending criminals to church instead of prison, and they say it works. I realize such a thing would never fly in the US (that pesky freedom of religion thing might get in the way), but it's interesting to see in a country that is very religious.

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August 18, 2004

Tribute to a great dog--Tugboat

Tyler Hamilton won the gold medal in the Olympic time trial in cycling. It was great to see him win, especially after all the health problems he's had.

But the best part? After the race, a reporter asked Hamilton about his performance. He stated that the race was dedicated to his dog, Tugoboat, who had died while Hamilton raced in the Tour de France earlier this year. He held up a small metal object--Tugboat's dog tag--which he carried with him while he raced. Sniff.

To read Hamilton's own words on his dog click here.

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Brushes with Randomness

I'm inspired to write about brushes with famousness just like Finslippy and Serial Blogonomy. This post will probably get longer in future days as my memory slowly focuses in on a few of many forgotten moments. Don't smoke pot, kids.

· I am a touch point in the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game. So, anyone who knows me is only one degree away. He and his brother of the Bacon Brothers band played at a store I used to work at. I shook his hand, trying really hard not to remember that I had recently seen him naked in Wild Things. Shudder.

· I shook Newt Gingrich’s hand at a book signing I was in charge of at a convention. He was very nice and was signing at the same table as James Carville, who was a total asshole and yelled at my assistant the whole time.

· Deepak Chopra shook my hand. He is very small.

· Rob Halford lives in San Diego and shops at the store I work in quite a bit. He lives across the street from Balboa Park, and the San Diego Gay Pride parade goes down his street every July. Every year he gets pissed off at all the hoopla that prevents him from getting home and spends time at Bob's Hogs, perusing CDs and ranting to employees.

· Louie Anderson bought coffee where I work. He was large and quiet. I felt embarrassed for him every time I looked at him due to his gay extortion scandal.

· I met Cyndi Lauper at Gay Pride a few years ago. She was very pretty and very friendly.

As I listed these brushes with celebrity, it slowly dawned on me that although IÂ’ve shaken the hands of various famous/known folks, my interactions with them have been relatively short-lived and not very interesting. It is a truly random spread of people, though.

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Possibly the BEST sweatshirt ever

I LOVE this sweatshirt. It cracks me up. Plus, John Mayer is wearing it. Which makes it extra good.

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August 17, 2004

Smile you son of a...

Bunnies again!

"We're gonna need a bigger boat."

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