I am going to kill my sister. Or someone closer if I canÂ’t hold out until the end of May.

SheÂ’s the one having the big wedding on Memorial Day weekend and causing me to lose my mind because of all the stress. Do you think she cares? No, she does not.*

I was nice and eloped for my wedding. I didnÂ’t even ask her to watch our dogs while we were in Vegas, because we didnÂ’t go to Vegas. We went to the JOP.

But now there is the dress** (and all the accoutrements), the plane tickets (which have not yet been purchased), the finding of a pet sitter to care for the cats (and one long-suffering Cockatiel), and the boarding of the four dogs at two different locations. Add to this one mortgage refinance to finance all this stuff that is taking for-fucking-ever to complete.

In the meantime, our water heater started making a weird, high-pitched noise that my dad thought was a potential pin-hole leak and FrinklinÂ’s dad thought might be caused by having the water temperature set too high. We wracked our brains for two days trying to find the source of the sound, all the while trying not to claw each otherÂ’s eyes out because a constant high-pitched beeping/whining/whistling noise is EXACTLY THE RIGHT SOUND TO DRIVE ONE INTO TOTAL INSANITY. Thank God I was out of the house yesterday for work and Frinklin was upstairs, otherwise the carnage could have been terrible.

We finally broke down and called a professional in (Stop freakin’ - call Beacon! – that’s a little something for the Washington crowd). The expert diagnosis rendered us sane within a matter of moments:

(click to enlarge)

Best. Homeowners. Ever. And it only cost $50! The nice plumber was kind enough to leave us custody of the house, even though we obviously donÂ’t possess the mental capacity to care for it properly.

Now I have to go buy some cat food, because that’s what I do every week – buy lots of expensive, organic, homeopathic pet food. And then I have to clean my house like a fiend to try to make it presentable for the appraiser. And call the pet sitters again. And try to find a descent kennel that still has opening for Memorial Day weekend. And take all the dogs to the vet to update their shots and get fecal exams at least 7 days in advance. And pick up my dress at Nordstroms. And fax new documents to the mortgage broker (because the original ones I sent are too old, because it’s taking a really, really, really f-ing long time for the refi to close. Have I mentioned that?).

Oh, and I should really get on those $400 plane tickets. And I was silly enough to think that my parents would be the only ones going broke paying for this!

*IÂ’m totally kidding and I love my sister with all my shrivled heart.

**Although she knows IÂ’m hating the whole Matron of Honor dress wearing thing.

Posted by: Ensie at 09:29 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 512 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Oh, I really, really, really needed that laugh. Thank you. I'm sending good vibes your way ...

Posted by: tacomachickadee at May 11, 2007 11:07 AM (TqtxZ)

2 That's likely the best studfinder story I will hear all day. I can recommend Theresa's kennel out in Puyallup. 14720 58th Ave E Puyallup, WA 98375 253-531-2422 http://www.theresaspetcare.com/

Posted by: sparkrobot at May 11, 2007 11:36 AM (66H5I)

3 Thanks spark! There are, I suppose, any number of inappropriate "studfinder" jokes one could insert. We're going with Green Acres in Spanaway for the dog boarding, which was recommended by my mother-in-law. But I will definitely check out Theresa's for any future kenneling needs.

Posted by: ensie at May 11, 2007 12:07 PM (6We+3)

4 Yeah, the studfinder jokes running through my head is part of why I'm still falling off my chair laughing.

Posted by: tacomachickadee at May 12, 2007 09:07 AM (pg8e/)

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