Another excellent article arguing against breed bans - specifically pit bulls (as usual). This time written by Malcolm Gladwell, the author of The Tipping Point and Blink:

A Georgia-based group called the American Temperament Test Society has put twenty-five thousand dogs through a ten-part standardized drill designed to assess a dog’s stability, shyness, aggressiveness, and friendliness in the company of people. A handler takes a dog on a six-foot lead and judges its reaction to stimuli such as gunshots, an umbrella opening, and a weirdly dressed stranger approaching in a threatening way. Eighty-four per cent of the pit bulls that have been given the test have passed, which ranks pit bulls ahead of beagles, Airedales, bearded collies, and all but one variety of dachshund. “We have tested somewhere around a thousand pit-bull-type dogs,” Carl Herkstroeter, the president of the A.T.T.S., says. “I’ve tested half of them. And of the number I’ve tested I have disqualified one pit bull because of aggressive tendencies. They have done extremely well. They have a good temperament. They are very good with children.” It can even be argued that the same traits that make the pit bull so aggressive toward other dogs are what make it so nice to humans. “There are a lot of pit bulls these days who are licensed therapy dogs,” the writer Vicki Hearne points out. “Their stability and resoluteness make them excellent for work with people who might not like a more bouncy, flibbertigibbet sort of dog. When pit bulls set out to provide comfort, they are as resolute as they are when they fight, but what they are resolute about is being gentle. And, because they are fearless, they can be gentle with anybody.

Then which are the pit bulls that get into trouble? “The ones that the legislation is geared toward have aggressive tendencies that are either bred in by the breeder, trained in by the trainer, or reinforced in by the owner,” Herkstroeter says. A mean pit bull is a dog that has been turned mean, by selective breeding, by being cross-bred with a bigger, human-aggressive breed like German shepherds or Rottweilers, or by being conditioned in such a way that it begins to express hostility to human beings. A pit bull is dangerous to people, then, not to the extent that it expresses its essential pit bullness but to the extent that it deviates from it. A pit-bull ban is a generalization about a generalization about a trait that is not, in fact, general. That’s a category problem.

Dan Savage is irritating me pulling out stories and manipulating feelings instead of facts.

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Per Tacomachickadee.

And to those who say, why not "boy"? Well, I think you're missing the point. It's not about excluding boys. It's about including girls.

Posted by: Ensie at 10:34 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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As an outside sales person, I fought for years for a Blackberry. I never did get one. None of our 60+ sales force throughout the United States was ever given the one tool that could have made our lives so much easier. Then again, I was only given a laptop a few years ago.

When I actually went to my boss and asked for the specific reasons I was not allowed to have a Blackberry I was given these answers:

1. They cost $500! We can't have just anyone running around with such an expensive piece of equipment.

2. You'll have to be available and more responsive to your customers, and do you really want to have to do that?

3. When traveling, you can always stop at a coffee shop that has Wi-Fi, get a cup of coffee (not paid for by Bob's Hogs), and check your email on your laptop.

4. (After a meeting with my #1 customer where response time was the #1 reason they said they often went with us and actually suggested that I be given a Blackberry to increase our business with them) "First lets see the business increase, that I'll look into getting you a Blackberry." Huh?

I can't tell you the number of significant sales I've lost over the years because I was traveling and couldn't get to my email, or had to ridiculously ask my high profile customers to call me with a huge proposal instead of just being able to read the stupid thing online.

So, a week after almost our entire sales force was cut, I walked my ass into the local AT&T store to pick up a smart phone. No more crappy-ass Razr for me (man, I hated that thing). I immediately gravitated toward the Blackberry Pearl, but the double button typing immediately put me off. I checked out the Blackberry Curve, which I thought I wanted, until I saw the Blackjack II....

I debated for a few minutes until I saw the difference between the Blackberry and Blackjack browsers, and the ease in use. The Blackjack just feels more intuitive. I was able to take it home and set it up quickly. I was downloading applications, getting new ring tones, and customizing it immediately, something I've seen Blackberry users struggle with.

It holds up to 10 email accounts, I can use both Opera and IE to browse, Frinklin found Octrotalk for me so that I can use GChat in addition to texting...what more could I ask for?

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Squeeee!

I'm totally in the new Tacoma City Arts magazine this month - the July issue with Deborah Ritchie on the cover. It's now monthly, and it's just out. Apparently copies are now available at the Stadium Thriftway, but I haven't seen them anyplace else yet.

Looking through the current issue, it looks like a really good one. The piece on Deborah Ritchie of Deborah Page, the highlight of Frost Park's Chalk Off, the preview of the Tall Ships festival...I'm really looking forward to reading through the entire thing.

And why am I in the mag you may ask? Just a quick question about what I'm reading recently, in which I mention Jenette Faluda's book Half-Assed: A Weight Loss Memoir, which you can see a preview of here:

You can also check out her blog Half of Me here, where she goes by the handle "Pasta Queen".

Her book is an interesting look at what it's like to go from over 300 lbs. to half that weight, and the mental and physical adjustments that come with that change. Faluda lost the weight on her own, without the help of diet programs, and continues to maintain her weight loss, holding herself accountable to her own conscience and her blog readers.

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More funny stuff here.

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Let the word eating begin.

I didn't get the job that I was already doing in my head. In fact, I wasn't just doing it in my head, I was making connections at BEA that I thought might be beneficial. I wasn't telling anyone I had the job or anything, but I was picking up business cards and saying I might be in contact with them in the near future.

It's hard to admit that my gut feeling was wrong when it's never been before. I've always been right about this sort of thing in the past, from the time I was a teenager. Maybe eleven years of working for the same company has thrown me off.

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I fear I'm about to duplicate Tacomamama's review of the Horatio Theatre's new show Hypothesis. This time it's not a play, or even a musical; it's a magic show, which is something a bit unexpected (or maybe not) from Erik Emery Hanberg's theater company.

I'm not a big one for magic shows, and I have to admit I was a bit apprehensive after watching the far too long "preview" on Exit 133. I made it about 2 minutes in. It's not that the idea of watching someone get into a body bag and get out across the street isn't interesting, it's just that watching someone in a body bag for 8 minutes on a relatively minute screen on a computer tends to try even the most patient of tempers.

However, internet previews are one thing, and real-life magicians are another.

Watching Geoff Kanick on stage was an entirely enjoyable experience. He has charisma and (most of the time) doesn't take himself too seriously, which makes for a good combination. Kanick worked the small preview audience of about 15 people well, asking at least half of them to join him on stage during different points of the show.

Combining a mixture of traditional tricks with interesting psychic feats kept the audience on their toes. I could quibble here and there with timing issues, but over all the show is fun and funny with a gasp here and there.

I highly recommend a trip down the rabbit hole with Mr. Kanick!

Definitely worth the low price of $10 a ticket, available at the door or at Brown Paper Tickets.

Hypothesis with magician Geoff Kanick
June 13 7:30 pm, June 14 7:30 pm, June 15 2:00 pm
Live at McAstocker Theater, Bellarmine Preparatory School
2300 S Washington
Tacoma, WA 98405

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I never really wrote about attending the Emerald City Comicon, although I really should have. I always seem to pick up really interesting art instead of just comics at these things. It's a tradition. A couple of years ago I picked up Chris Malidore's The Revolution Has Begun penguin art. This has disturbed visitors to my desk ever since. He's expanded since then and created the Survivalist Penguin, and a couple of others that he doesn't appear to have on his website yet. You can pick up his art locally at Spy Comics in Federal Way.

This year I fell in love with a couple of pieces by Katy Hargrove. She grabbed my attention by wearing a massive headdress (relatively effortlessly) while she worked her table). Her portfolio included a lot of fabulous creations, but what really caught my eye were her cockatiel pieces. I quickly snapped up buttons of both, sharing the story of my own recent cockatiel loss.

Never one to shy away from controversy, before leaving the table I had to take a peek under the "18 and over" page that covered a framed piece of art. I was delighted to find a hysterical looking boob streaking across a blue background. I debated buying it then and there, but nearing the end of my set budget for the day, I decided against the purchase.

Over a delicious dinner that evening at Redfin Sushi I told my group of friends that I wished I had the space in my home for a "weird art" gallery. A place where I could place all my odd purchases and never regret them. Not that these pieces wouldn't be beautiful or excellent examples of their genre, just that they may be quirky or bought just for me. A place I could put my framed, freaked out boob; had I brought it home.

I stayed home on the second day of the 'con, while Frinklin wanted to go back with friends. While there, he saw that the boob had not yet sold and made the executive decision to purchase it and make it mine.

While I don't yet have a house large enough to have a room devoted to my own art collection, I'm sure I'll find a space for it. In the meantime, it's making me laugh every time I see it.

Posted by: Ensie at 11:05 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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It appears that laundry problems are going around.

A little over a week ago my less-than-a-year-old washing machine died what appeared to be a relatively undramatic death. The spin cycle ceased to work, prompting a call to an appliance repairman. I hoped for a belt replacement or the like, but after a relatively short inspection, it was declaired that the machine's computer had died and it would be at least $450 to repair with labor. Considering the fact that I had paid less than that for the entire machine just a short time ago, replacement, rather than repair sounded like the better option.

Frinklin and I hit up the Sears Outlet off of Sixth Ave to find a (hopefully) inexpensive replacement. There was very little to choose from in our price range, and after a pushy salesman pushed a little too hard, we walked out without anything.

What I really wanted was to find the man that sold me my original washing machine three years ago. He refurbishes old washing machines and dryers and when we moved to Washington and needed something cheap and fast we found his number in the paper and bought an old (15 years plus) machine for very little.

While I was on vacation in San Diego over the last week Frinklin spent time doing laundry at a local laundromat. Things went fine until the last day when he took in our 8-year-old feather bed that exploded in a washing machine and left a huge pile of feathers behind - enough to fill an entire laundry basket. The owner of the laundromat was less than happy with him.

It was time for us to find a washing machine - pronto.

Luck was on our side. After a couple of phone calls to numbers in the News Tribune, we found Bill, the gentleman we had bought our original washing machine from years ago. After some assistance moving out our old machine from Mr. Freitas, we picked up a brand new machine in Lakewood, its only problem being a punctured cabinet from a forklift accident that has since been replaced. Bill gave us $50 for our old machine (Yay! No lawn ornament!) and a one year parts, labor, or exchange warranty. Kevin was once again on hand to move the machine upstairs, I connected the water hookups, and everything was a go.

Our new washing machine is fantastic. It's much better balanced than our last and hasn't balked at taking on our king sized comforter or a couple of massive dog beds. If anyone needs a good place to buy a washer or dryer, I highly recommend Bill in Lakewood.

Posted by: Ensie at 08:11 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I'm on vacation.

I spent the day driving my rented black convertable Mustang around San Diego, lying by the pool drinking alcoholic beverages, and getting a wicked sunburn (I'm lobster red currently but should be tan by Wednesday).

Oh, and getting laid off from Bob's Hogs and Weiner Pigs.

It's not as though I wasn't expecting it. Which doesn't make it suck any less; but as I had the conversation with my now ex-boss, Beet about my severence package (pretty good) and access to my company-issued laptop and cell phone (ending within hours), I felt...calm. I don't feel a terrible sense of loss over leaving the company I've worked at for 11 years. I don't have an awful dread about finding a new job in worsening economy.

What definitely helps is the fact that I've had three successful interviews with a great new company, the latest of which took place just a couple of hours after my "your position has been eliminated effective immediately" discussion with Beet. I've been asked to keep next Wednesday free to come in to meet with the the man who would be my boss in person, after speaking with him on the phone today. I have that feeling you get when you just know a job is right for you and the interviews feel like a formality, and can't you just get started already?

I'm really going to eat my words if I don't get this job.

The worst part about today was fielding phone calls from a lot of people didn't anticipate this situation. Beet spent a lot of time telling his team that we were in a good position and we weren't in danger of losing our jobs. He was genuinely shocked at hearing the news that we would be getting the axe. And because he convinced himself and a lot of other people that we were "safe," they have not been listening to the overriding message of the company that the news overall is not positive and everyone could lose their jobs. Some were in tears, having worked at Borders for years, and a good number came on board within the last year, meaning they will receive minimal severence packages.

I lost access to my computer within hours of hearing the news, meaning that a lot of my customers will not know what happened. This is unfortunate, as I have always worked very hard to make my customers happy. I feel responsible for the work I have done for them over the years, and to leave in the middle of processing their orders with no clear answer as to how things will be handled is difficult for me. To walk away with nothing more than an, "Oh well, it's someone else's problem now," is extremely hard.

I still have access to my cell phone for now, somehow. Everyone else lost access today. I like to think it's some sort of kindness that I'm being offered as I'm on vacation and they know I need it. Every time I open it and see the picture of Pharoah, who passed away last November, I wonder how long his picture will be there, and how much longer this one final connection to Bob's Hogs will last.

I visited the first store I ever worked at today. I needed to ship some books out from Book Expo America. Eleven years ago the General Manager used to be an Assistant Manager who noticed my application and called my 20 year-old self in for an interview. I nailed it, and before I coulld even drive home he had called and left a message for me to schedule a second interview. The second went well and I was offered the position of a Children's Bookseller. My first day on the job I worked the entire day without a lunch break because I was so excited to work with books. The way they felt, their smell, the shifting and moving them around on the shelves.

I met so many best friends over the years - Joe, Holly Wood, Mike, Clay, Darryl, Meagan, Larissa, James...and so many characters. My first real apartment came from a roomate agreement through a coworker there. And my next roomate, and the following as well. I turned 21 and had my first drink at TGI Fridays with coworkers after closing. I attended countless parties over the years for birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, and people coming and going. I dyed my hair blue and pierced my nose and my tongue and they accepted me. I grew my hair out and grew into a professional and they created a position for me in another state.

If I think about it too much I'll cry. I'm holding it in until I get home.

I'm on vacation.

Posted by: Ensie at 10:21 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Today I did something I haven't done in over 11 years. I interviewed with a company that wasn't Bob's Hogs and Weiner Pigs.

It was simultaneously terrifying and rewarding at the same time.

I was scared to death the interviewer was going to stop dead in the middle of our conversation and scream, "Fraud! What the hell do you think you're doing interviewing for this job?! You aren't qualified for this!" But she never did. In fact, she invited me to tour their facility tomorrow and if all goes well I'll interview with the President of the company as one of the top three candidates for the position.

She said very nice things about my resume, which I had emailed to her at 2 AM last night and she called me about at 10 this morning. I took that as a good sign. The job would be similar to what I'm doing now; I would get to office from home, have a laptop, a cell phone (I wonder if I could wrangle a Blackberry out of them?), a company credit card, get paid mileage, etc. I would travel a bit for training to Phoenix and possibly Chicago, which would be fun. It potentially sounds like doing my job now, but without all the stress...

I also sent out my resume to two other places. One I see as a long-shot job with a big company doing some really exciting things. I happened to meet and connect with someone who knows a hiring manager there who has passed on my resume. The other is a job that I may or may not fit well with. It's geared heavily toward marketing and consists of some things I've never done before (photo shoots, etc.). We'll see what happens.

Now the question arises - what if I get one of these jobs and I want to see what comes of the other one or two? How do you balance this stuff?

I am no good at this.

Posted by: Ensie at 02:53 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Frinklin sent me something ever so fun to play with.

Head over to the Walk Score website and enter in your address. It will map our your home and surroundings and the "walkability" of your neighborhood, taking into consideration the convenience of the nearby destinations. You receive a score from 0 to 100 depending on just how fully walkable things really are. Their scale is broken down like so:

90 - 100 = Walkers' Paradise: Most errands can be accomplished on foot and many people get by without owning a car.
70 - 90 = Very Walkable: It's possible to get by without owning a car.
50 - 70 = Some Walkable Locations: Some stores and amenities are within walking distance, but many everyday trips still require a bike, public transportation, or car.
25 - 50 = Not Walkable: Only a few destinations are within easy walking range. For most errands, driving or public transportation is a must.
0 - 25 = Driving Only: Virtually no neighborhood destinations within walking range. You can walk from your house to your car!

My score was 57, which is reasonable. We have a lot of restaurants and a few shops as well as a hospital (if one might walk there) well within walking range, but grocery stores are pushing the limits of walkability when you start to talk about carrying a lot of stuff back with you. I would assume that most of Tacoma is fairly walkable.

You can actually get a map to place on your blog. I thought it would be funny to see the walkability of my parent's neighborhood. They live out in the boonies:

They scored a 6. Not so walkable there.

Posted by: Ensie at 12:31 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 Now, there's a Sizzler within three miles so it's not all bad! My mom's address scored a 25. A little better than your parents but still pretty awful. The house I grew up in scored an 8. I'd say that's about right!

Posted by: Jenyum/Tacomamama at May 24, 2008 08:23 AM (LMqvC)

2 We got a 51 ... but two restaurants listed aren't really there. I'm guessing there's a N/S switch going on. Though I'd love to have Gateway to India and a teriyaki as close as it SAYS. I know I'm in the suburbs of the Proctor District ... sigh.

Posted by: tacomachickadee at May 24, 2008 09:49 AM (nWV/l)

3 The house I grew up in got a 2, but I think only because it counted an asparagus farm a mile away as a restaurant. Otherwise I think they'd be at 1 or 2. The nearest thing of any category was several miles away. In case any of you wonder why I'm perfectly happy in T-town with a score of 51 ...

Posted by: tacomachickadee at May 24, 2008 09:53 AM (nWV/l)

4 That's a great tool to objectively determine how "walkable" an area is. As an example, Fife has installed some great new sidewalks and treees but the distances between uses is so large its hard to walk to anything so every trip ends up being one in a car.

Posted by: Erik B. at May 24, 2008 10:53 AM (OVI7B)

5 Wow! Our site for cohousing (1002-4 S 12th St) got an 85! They are a bit funky on the search criteria though. Under schools, they listed Bates about 10 times (probably for the different "majors", and an LLC with Park in the name was listed as A PARK! All together, though, I'd say we picked a good place. Still looking for members!

Posted by: Earthdaughter at May 24, 2008 11:08 AM (JllhC)

6 Walk Score: 5 out of 100

Posted by: Eden at May 24, 2008 02:25 PM (BDCWt)

7 My home address gets a 60, which is better than last year when it left out even more, but it still leaves out Dave's market and Lowell elementary, which would probably boost it considerably. Lowell is actually much closer than Grant, but both are easily walkable.

Posted by: Jen at May 24, 2008 05:52 PM (LMqvC)

8 Yeah, there are definitely some glitches in the alogorithem (is that how you spell that?) that is used to figure out the acutal walkability. But it's still interesting to look at. My parent's house actually has some sort of odd "Quality Hydroseeding" place listed as a school nearby, which I don't believe has anything to do with education.

Posted by: ensie at May 24, 2008 09:35 PM (0Y/90)

9 Just for fun, I looked around on walkscore's site and found this interesting information on how they arrive at their scoring. http://www.walkscore.com/how-it-doesnt-work.shtml We can actually help them "fix" some of the errors in our neighborhoods and improve the accuracy for Tacoma. (P.S. It's algorithm.)

Posted by: Patricia J. Menzies at May 25, 2008 05:24 AM (JllhC)

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Discussion of this great SNL skit came up the other night when describing Kevin's nightmare concoction of cereal (CoCo Puffs, Whoppers, and chocolate milk).

"This one time!..."

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When I was new to the Pacific Northwest and still missing absolutely everything Southern California with an ache that would never end I went on a cereal eating binge. I lived on cereal. And not just any random cereal. For some reason I chose Honey Nut Shredded Wheat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for over three months (apparently I'm not the only one to do this). I went through a box every couple of days, four or five boxes a week. I would supplement occasionally with meals out, but that was essentially what I lived off of.

At the time I was severely depressed and didn't have any friends in my new home to find my behavior odd. Just one husband who gamely kept me supplied and a therapist who told me that as long as the cereal wasn't hurting me she didn't see anything wrong with it. After three or four months I found the right mix of medication, the homesickness began to lift, and the cereal hunger lifted. I still wanted cereal, but just for breakfast, and maybe could I have something different?

Until last night I hadn't touched Honey Nut Shredded Wheat in two years. But last night there was a Cereal Party at the House of Freitai and as a nod to those sad months I brought a box of my OCD food of choice for others to share. I also brought along a box of my current fav - Special K with Strawberries, which I have each morning.

Frinklin brought a couple of his favorites, as did everyone else. We each gave a quick speech about why had brought our specific choices before diving into the selections. Surprisingly with nine different types to choose from, no one had duplicated anything. Sarah brought bananas and there were several options for milk - nonfat, reduced fat, whole, soy, and chocolate.

I didn't grow up in a house where sugary cereals were allowed and because of that sugary cereals taste SO sweet to me. We didn't have anything overly sugary represented last night other than CoCo Puffs, which I didn't eat (other than a bite of Kevin's terrifying chocolate nightmare). I did enjoy small bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch (sweet, but not overly so), Rice Krispies (with a bit of honey, the way my Grandma used to make them for me), Apple Jacks (yuck), mix of Rice Krispies and Cocoa Krispies (OK, but I don't like chocolate cereal).

I'm sure this will become a regular tradition. As you can see, we are serious about our cereal.

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I'm not entierly sure how I've managed to go this long without writing about Bookmooch considering the fact that I've used it every single day for the last couple of months obsessively. It's officially become my favorite new thing to play with because a) it allows me to get rid of the excess books that have been haunting my house for years, b) I get new books that I actually want, c) I get mail, which is fun, and d) I get to use my Stamps.com shipping program and paraphernalia.

Assuming one isn't familiar with Bookmooch, it's a simple website where you can trade in your current books for points. Your points can then be exchanged for books other users have that you would like. Easy peasy! Typically books are worth one point each as you send and receive from one person to another within the same country. Books "mooched" to and from foreign countries can cost 2 - 3 points.

At last check I have sent out 39 books and received 13 (which sounds bad, but really, I've been wanting to get rid of a lot of crap). I'm waiting on 5 more to arrive and have one book to send out currently. I have 25.1 points currently. Books that you want to give away are kept in an inventory that is browsable by other members. Books that you would like to receive are added to a "wishlist." Every time a book on your wishlist becomes available you are sent an e-mail. You can also get an RSS feed of the wishlist if you prefer.

The best part of Bookmooch is the cost. It's completely FREE. The only cost associated with trading books is the shipping cost. But since books are bound, printed matter, they can ship as media mail. This can take longer to ship but typically costs very little. Most books cost between $2 - $3 to ship. Considering the average cost of a paperback can be $12 - $14 and a harcover can be as much as $30 this is really quite a deal!

Bookmooch has a blog and has recently been writing about some very cool stuff. Making books and bookmooching more green has been a big topic as of late. Things like reusing packaging and making sure that you can order the reused packaging right on the website. They also have started working with publishers to have books available directly.

Being a voracious reader, Bookmooch and Paperspine are exactly the type of things that I've been looking for. While the library is great, the fact that there are fees (I recently racked up $50 in fines at the Tacoma Public Library for the five books I had out) keep me from going back. I can find more recent titles, keep them as long as I want (own them if it's Bookmooch), and not have to worry about returning them to anyone. What's not to love?

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Today I came home from lunch with Jenyum of Tacomamama to find a package on my doorstep. Upon opening the package I found a delightful gift. Some may remember my obsession with the book The Fruit Hunters by author Adam Leith Gollner. I raved about this book when I received an Advance Reader Copy (ARC) from Simon and Schuster a couple of months ago. The book is an absorbing read from beginning to end and made me care about a topic I previously had little interest in. I can't wait to see how Gollner's work is received and what he chooses to write about next.

So, anyway - the surprise gift. Because I had gushed to my Simon and Schuster contact about the book she sent me a signed copy of the finished hardcover! Not just signed, but signed to me! Adam Leith Gollner knows my name!

OK. He likely had a huge list of books to sign for various people and I was just one of a massive number getting books signed to them. But still! This is cool.

I also just received a couple of other signed finished books that are being republished (after being self-published, then published by Slave Labor Graphics). Ariel Schrag's amazing books Potential and Awkward and Definition are being published by Simon and Schuster. Potential is being developed as a movie to be directed by Rose Troche. I own the Slave Labor Graphics editions, but having signed copies is so nice...

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I have a long history of locking myself out of things. I'm really good at locking myself out of various vehicles. I went through a stretch where I did it weekly, sometimes twice a week. Twice I did it while the car was RUNNING. I'm pretty proud of that accomplishment.

I've been locked out of my computer more times that I can tell you. Or various websites that I swear I can remember the password for, but upon my three attempts suddenly find that I need to call customer service because I no longer have any type of access. I finally had to create a hidden secret "cheat sheet" that I use to get to the various portals around the internets.

I thought I'd really done it a couple of years ago when Frinklin and I locked our selves IN our house. Yes you read that correctly. IN the house.

The deadbolt to the front door broke due to shoddy workmanship of the previous owner (a reccurring theme) and since we don't own a key to the back door, and our back gates are padlocked shut (a detail that will become important later in this blog entry) we were trapped. A very kind locksmith came and removed the deadbolt, re-keyed the front door, and fixed the crappy job the last owner had done with the whole thing. I highly recommend Jack at Security Lock, Safe, and Alarm.

I really didn't think it would be possible to top locking myself IN my house. But yesterday I did it.

Yesterday I locked myself in my backyard.

Really, it was all the cats' fault. But lets back up.

Remember how I told you earlier that there is no key to the back door and the gates are padlocked shut? We've been having issues with the back door not shutting all the way unless the deadbolt is thrown. The wind will push it open and 4 of our 5 indoor only cats will sneak outside to frolic on the deck, eventually making their way under the house.

Yesterday I happened to be walking past the back door and noticed it was waving gently in the afternoon breeze. Immediately panicking I jumped into action and ran outside. All four adventurous cats were outside. Making a grab for the one closest (Clyde), I felt fur and threw him in the house, slamming the door behind me. One down and three to go! An orange streak flew past my feet. Percy! I snatched him up and grabbed the door handle, leaning in to open the--ow! Open the--

Oh for fucks sake. I hadn't latched the deadbolt, but the small doorknob lock was thrown and it was good and closed this time. As Percy squirmed in my arms I grabbed for another orange kitty and picked up a clawing mass of Barney. As his talons sank into my body I thought, "this is bad." Turning to the right, I watched as Moby slipped under the house.

As I lost more and more blood from Barney's slashes I realized I was going to have to let the cats go, even if they did go under the house. I was either going to need to try to climb through a window (all locked), climb the fence (six feet high), or find a friendly neighbor with a cell phone to help. Fortunately, a friendly neighbor happened to be standing just on the other side of the fence.

"Excuse me?" I called, trying not to look insane with orange cats dangling from my limbs. "I have locked myself in my backyard and am in need of a phone. May I borrow yours?" Hopefully proper grammar and being the picture of politeness would help my cause.

"Uh, IN your backyard?" replied the kind neighbor.

"Yes. You see, my door is locked from the inside and I lack a key (Ow! Barney stop it!). And my gates are padlocked (Dammit! Ow!)." (Big smile)

"Sure." Kind neighbor tosses cell phone to me over fence. I should explain at this point that Frinklin was out assisting friends with their 72 Hour Films Festival (tickets on sale now!) submission. I called him. And called him. And called him. Angels be praised - on the third try he picked up. I make no apologies for the messages left that sound something like, "Iamtrappedinthegoddamnbackyardandyouarenotpickingupyourcellphonewherethefuck
areyourightnowIreallyneedyoutocomehomeandhelpme!" To his credit as soon as he did pick up the phone Kevin, Joe, and Frinklin did rush home to rescue me. I sulkily entered the house, sans cats.

Ah yes. The cats.

The next three hours of my life were devoted to cajoling two stubborn kitties out from the tiny (non) crawl space of the house. Percy decided he'd had enough of the great outdoors and came quietly, but Barney and Moby found a playground of smells, sights, and a possible doorway to a wonderland of adventure through that little gap in the concrete. I'd like to say that Frinklin and I tempted the cats by calling their names and offering them treats, but that did absolutely nothing for 2 hours and 45 minutes. Also ineffectual; lying on a towel to avoid dirt and other backyard debris while peering under the house with an industrial strength flashlight (although I got a close up look at one of our air vents). The best technique was to stand absolutely silent and still for 10 or 15 minutes, pretending to be a part of the house, then pounce when the cat came out to explore. Good to know for future reference.

I really need to get the back door re-keyed so that we can unlock it normally. And probably need to have the entire thing worked on so that it actually stays closed when the wind is blowing. Hopefully I'm working a good average and I won't lock myself back there again for another three years, minimum.

Bonus trapped in moment! Trapped IN my pants!

Posted by: Ensie at 12:50 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 Dang. What a crazy afternoon/evening. And you handled the situation much better than I would have. At the point I would've realized I'd locked myself in the backyard, my head would've just asploded.

Posted by: Cassioposa at May 04, 2008 04:54 PM (/fI+2)

2 damn. I would have.... um... I dunno. Uttered alot of curses. Many of them well-conjugated strings of cursewords. I can demonstrate that curse-conjugation skill for you someday, if you like, though I suspect you may have the skill within you.... Nice to know your peaceable kingdom is all well again

Posted by: JCBetty at May 04, 2008 09:46 PM (lvOTL)

3 This is something I would do. Glad you got all your various cats back inside.

Posted by: Jenyum/Tacomamama at May 06, 2008 03:58 PM (LMqvC)

4 JCBetty, Oh, I uttered A LOT of swear words. Don't worry. I may have even been speaking in tongues at one point. It was not pretty. I'm surprised I didn't scare away the Kind Neighbor. Fortunately I didn't though, and he stuck around long enough to lend his phone.

Posted by: ensie at May 07, 2008 12:49 AM (0Y/90)

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This morning started off rough.

Frinklin got up early to help out friends with their 72 hour film festival submission only to find that one of our cars was broken into overnight. It was nothing terribly dramatic, and unfortunately (or fortunately, since it meant there was little damage to the car) it was a situation where one of the doors didn't close properly and was jimmied open. Everthing in the vehicle had been rifled through but the person who broke in only stole my expensive and very cool pea coat. Note to self: don't leave expensive and cool stuff in car.

In the grand scheme of things this isn't a huge deal. The car is relatively unscathed, nothing major was taken, and both Frinklin and I are mostly just annoyed. But it's unsettling to have someone violate your privacy and your space. This is the second time that Frinklin and I have been robbed. Both times it has been due to a door left ajar; last time it was in an old apartment we couldn't wait to move out of in 2001.

Before moving to Tacoma I received a lot of half-joking warning about the crime rate here. I, myself, have joked about livng in a city where crime is just considered part of daily life. A few months after moving here Violet came to visit from Chicago (where she was terrified of living in her own haunted house and somewhat crime-ridden neighborhood alone). Her first night in town we told her we lived in "the good part of Tacoma" with a lower crime rate, "less violent crimes."

Frinklin went on to say, "We do tend to have a lot of kidnappers and serial killers though," naming Ted Bundy and a couple of others. We laughed it off (I know I'm going to hell) and got ready for bed.

Just as we were readying the pull-out couch Violet looked outside and asked, "Are those police lights?" We all rushed to the window to see cops blocking off our street and officers with German Shepherds marching up and down our block. A helicopter began circling overhead and spotlights swept the ground. Frinklin called the non-emergency police number and was told in a stern voice to, "Stay inside. Lock the doors. Do not exit the house unless instructed to by a uniformed police officer." Oh. Great.

Violet told us the next morning she slept better that night than she had in months.

"The police were everywhere! I felt so safe!" she smiled.

The TPD is no longer hovering around my house and even when I call them to report a prowler they don't bother to stop by. I've had my car egged twice, my mail stolen, the guy trying to get into the backyard, and now the car, all in three year. But I feel relatively safe due to the 90 lb. German Shepherd/Pit Bull (who's my puppy?) that doesn't like strangers sleeping next to me at night.

It's just emotionally draining to have someone violate your space and have to put your stuff back together again. And there's the enevitable "what if" thoughts that haunt you. What if they come back? What if they took something I didn't notice? What if they try to break into my house next? What if they hurt my animals? What if they hurt my husband or me?

I'm tired of thinking these thoughts. What I'd really like to do is leave a big 'ol sign on my car that says, "Hi. This message is for the person who broke into my car and stole my coat. I've lived in Tacoma long enough to know that a video camera is the best way to keep your property safe. Bring back the coat - put it on the front porch. I've got you on tape breaking into the car. If you don't return the coat within 48 hours, I'm turning in the tape to the Tacoma Police Department. Thanks."

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see more crazy cat pics

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Tacomamama invited me to attend the James Howard Kunstler event this evening with her and I happily accepted. However, unlike some who have bathed in the words of Kunstler recently, I have avoided all books, YouTube videos, blogs and podcasts, preferring to go to the event with virgin ears. This paid off, as he apparently reused a lot of his jokes this evening.

I found Kunstler to be interesting, especially when speaking about architecture. The second part of his presentation was better than the first part. I really wish he had spoken more in specifics about Tacoma since he had spent the day in the city. At times he came off more like a grumpy old man with a, says Tacomamama, "very us-against-them" mentality. He appears very confrontational and not someone very approachable or adaptable to change.

Mr. Kunstler started off his speaking engagement this evening by addressing the energy crisis, or what he calls "The Long Emergency". Focusing on the depletion and hoarding of oil in various world sites, he notes that a day of reckoning is coming where we will no longer have the resources available to fuel the systems we currently have in place (tonight he specifically focused on our transportation systems, especially cars and planes).

When confronted with the argument that technology may provide us with alternate energy sources (or "save" us), Kunstler is very adamant that TECHNOLOGY DOES NOT EQUAL ENERGY. One cannot fill a gas tank with technology; which is a completely illogical argument, but who is going to jump up and argue with the man while he's on stage? At this point he told an anecdote about speaking at Google's headquarters. Harping on their "kindergarten like" atmosphere and making fun of their executives stating that they dressed like "skate rats", he laughed off the fact that these "children" told him, "but we have technology!" I would have liked to ask him if would conceed the fact that technology can lead to innovations that may provide alternate energy sources that we have not discovered yet...

I believe at this point Kunstler began the second half of his presentation, focusing on where and how we live. He had several points:

- The age of suburbia is over. Going forward we will have only urban and rural. Cities will be more compact and rural areas will begin to be used for agriculture again out of necessity.

- We must get out of our cars and choose public transportation. Trains are the most logical choice (but we are not ready for anything more plain old regular rail transport - nothing fancy).

- Architecture should be purposeful, functional, and interesting. Use historical buildings as a guide and you won't need to hide ugly buildings in strip malls, in spaces that have been "greened up" and the like.

- Parks should be away from freeways, busy intersections, etc. People want to get AWAY from these things when they are in parks.

- In order to get people to use outdoor spaces, the space must be clearly defined. Building create walls, businesses create services (edges) and a reason for being.

Many of these are so obvious, you wouldn't think these would be wild and outrageous suggestions, but they are! Looking at his slides of the hideous schools (prison-like), public space (perpetually empty Boston amphetheater bearing a striking resemblance to Tollefson Plaza), and blank walls (I believe it was Boston City Hall with a block's length of blank wall) you start to despair of good design.

I know there has been discussion locally regarding the Proctor Safeway redesign. Currently Tacoma requires that any buildings along Proctor have windows along the street, however Safeway has requested a variance allowing them to have a solid wall along the West side of the building, among other things. I'm not sure what the progress of their request is at this point in time.

There were examples of beautiful and intricate architecture this evening as well. In addition to historical examples Kunstler had shots of windows and rooflines from his hometown, and he talked quite a bit about The Congress for the New Urbanism. The CNU appears to be working to create a new type of infrastrustructure that encompases neighborhoods, wildlife habitat, and farmland. You can check out their work on their website.

I'm sure there are plenty of things I'm forgetting from tonight, but these are the things that stuck this evening.

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